Simon Dumenco’s “Definery” Reimmangined


Dumenco's DefineryAs Dumenco wrote, “Confused by all the buzzwords floating around in the digital economy?” It’s the nature of the order of the digital world the box all terms and create order. And in creating the boxes perhaps chaos attains some ease in our dysfunctional digital world.

The “Media Guy” of AdAge recent  “Definery” added thoughts that may allow some “tongue-in-cheek” perspective to the less educated digiphiles among us. Or, at least, offer help in comprehending the fix many of us find ourselves when our communications go on deaf ears, if they travel at all from our computers.

His first term, adblock, becoming more and more doubtful that messages fail to make it through filters in people’s digital world, we continue our frustrated communications and can’t seem to get out of spam filters. Well, understand why your “kittens are being drowned,” and you may have some insight! Adblock — n. A service that kidnaps your kittens, puts them in a sack and then drowns them in the river — unless you pay Adblock to “whitelist” your kittens, in which case they will be allowed to live. Wait, did I say kittens? I meant your online ads.Drown Kitten

And then there is our working in the bigger world of “Big Data.”Well, obviously we just don’t understand the size of the ocean in which we swim. Better gain some understanding of how many others are out there beating on the same doors we are… “Big data — n. Data so big other data jogs around it to get exercise! Data so big it had to go to SeaWorld to get baptized! Data so big it puts its lipstick on with a paint-roller! Data so big …

Now I thought we understood Instagram, but obviously our comprehension lacked the common touch. (heh heh!) Instagram — n. Smartphone software that allows you to photograph your danish at breakfast meetings so that, once you get fired for photographing your danish at one of those breakfast meetings, you’ll be able to look back at your library of danish photos and reminisce about how great it was when you used to get free danishes at work.

But you work in “Real-time” messaging, and still are a day behind. Oh we are so old! Real-time advertising — n. Topical ads seen by the media on Twitter but by no actual consumers. Usage: Thanks to incredibly effective real-time advertising, the TechCrunch writer decided to serve Oreos instead of pizza at his next Super Bowl party and/or royal birth!

The message to Dumenco’s Definery is that we are never “On Top” of the message we think we understand. So, every day we study, read and fall farther behind the big data curve. Thanks for making us feel so little Simon!


Tumblr — n. A source of free pornography recently acquired by a logo-redesign shop.

Tumbly — adj. Porny. Usage: Miley Cyrus’ Video Music Awards performance on MTV was so tumbly, wasn’t it?

The original “Poke in the eye”-