Technology & eMail Perspective

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web-trackingby Marion Marks

Many of you are aware that our firm has worked with a number of government cases that require absolute secrecy and complete blackout of information. And, in the political season everyone wants to gossip and seek snippets of data that may give some inkling as to what is going on behind the scenes. As with the current political climate, we are “Mum” when it comes to even hinting about what is going on behind the electronic curtain pertaining to any ongoing case where we are investigating “officially.”

woodward-clinton_emails-nixon-tapes2However, the FBI approached us last week with a very unusual request where NO non-disclosure or even discussion of any requirement regarding secrecy was the topic of conversation. Normally we’re not allowed to talk about this stuff, but someone forgot to talk to a judge or something so I’m legally allowed to share it with you at this time without risk of prosecution.

It has now become public knowledge that Sir Edmund Hillary is/was a time traveler. He had access to “unusually advanced technology” when he scaled Mount Everest, and it is believed that he also had access to email before his time or anyone else’s.

searching-technology-emailsAs you might imagine, we know a little something about email. And so, at the FBI’s request, we have opened an investigation into Hillary’s emails in hopes of finding the lost gems that everyone else is so eagerly anticipating.

Thus far we haven’t found any of consequence! And, to our knowledge, NEITHER HAS ANYONE ELSE!

What we HAVE found is a really tan construction worker across the street, perhaps of Russian or Middle Eastern heritage, where a crew is building a new warehouse. He’s always yelling at the top of his lungs either to pray, or just be heard by his fellow workers, and it’s making it hard for us to concentrate.

He keeps yelling “The erection is rigged!” presumably because they’re ready to raise the concrete platforms to form the walls of the warehouse with the help of a crane and other very high-tech equipment.

hey-you-Votes CountWith any luck both of these unusual circumstances will resolve themselves quickly, all of us can return to our normal jobs and government will go on in the continuing circular pattern to resolve matters that should be important to all of us. Please be patient, GO VOTE, and we will hope the world is still around November 9th.

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